Google Down the Line!: FASHION FIX: It's short but not so sweet

Thursday, January 26, 2012

FASHION FIX: It's short but not so sweet

I know, I know. Everyone's talking about the shriekfest of a final we're all going to endure between former champ Maria Sharapova and Victoria Azarenka tomorrow at the Australian Open. It's been fodder for the tennis media and bloggeratti so there's no need for me to add to the noise. But, people, there's something more sinister going on besides the idea of the shriek as gamesmanship (c'mon girls, you're losing the PR battle here). What I find most disturbing does involve Vika, but it's not what's coming out of her mouth, at least not this time. It's what's on her ass: The BOOM BOOMS. There, I said it.

Those white unassuming Nike BOOM BOOMS, on their own, are fine. They work really well in a practice session or match on a smaller court with a small, gathering crowd of drooling young boys and probably a few girls (it's tennis remember). But in a Grand Slam final??? Not. Appropriate. I don't blame the her, though. If I recall correctly, it was Venus Williams who broke the barrier back in 2007 and set the dangerous precedent when she wore white BOOM BOOMS from then-sponsor Reebok during her Wimbledon win against Marion Bartoli:

That's one barrier she should've left alone.

Of course, not everyone feels this way. In fact, some have been complimenting the fact that the BOOM BOOMS give off good leg for Vika. Her agent and former WTA lady baller, Meilen Tu, has been going on about "da legs" on Twitter while reader Wayne said "She looks way hot in those shorts!" over on the Down the Line! Facebook page. Her legs do look good, though "hot" and BOOM BOOMS are reserved, at least here, for shirtless boys in uncompromising positions on the tennis court (or in my head). If this sentiment sounds a little sexist, I'll say in my defense that at the very least I try to remain an equal opportunity offender.

I guess it's too much to imagine she might actually put on something else besides the BOOM BOOMS--maybe a a top with a skirt that actually gives her some curves--for her first major final. Oh, that's the other thing: They're not flattering on her. She's too straight up-and-down. Now, put them on Rafa. Seriously, I think we've got a winner.

[Photo(s) credit: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images]


  1. I totally agree with you regarding the shorts, but Vika is too much of a tomboy for dresses; she just never pulled those off IMHO. It would be nice if Nike designed a clothing line for her. Maybe some shorts with pockets so she could stop shoving the ball up her underwear.

    1. Yeah, no dresses. Separates work better for her. You bring up a good point about all the lady ballers who shove balls up their undershorts. I've actually never noticed if they use that ball or always go to the ball kids for a new one. I can't recall if I've ever seen any of them take a ball from under their shorts.

      Maybe it's just habit or something.

  2. Thanks for the shout out Rich, made my day. I know we look at Vika in a very different light, and while I agree her figure is a little too up and down, these shorts are finally giving her an arse! That cannot be such a bad thing for the straight dudes.
    As for taking balls from the undershorts, most of the girls do it for nearly every second serve. Including Vika.

    1. Heh, very different ways. I swear I've never noticed them take the balls from the shorts. What the hell am I looking at? I guess my eyes don't want to go there.


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